You Are My Sunshine

Me and Josh

Today I am lost in loving thoughts of my husband. The man who took me on, which I have to say was pretty brave given the circumstances at the time. He helped me to find my place in the world again, by giving me a place in his. Up until him, I had never experienced a man that i could truly be friends with. I poured my soul out to him, the good, the bad, the ugly and the stuff I was going to take to my grave. He didn’t always like what I had to say, but he appreciated the honesty and always treated me with so much love. I can never thank God enough for sending me this beautiful man that I now have the honor of calling my husband.

I was in an abusive marriage for 13 years prior to this. I was always belittled, controlled, and accused. It was no way to live. I was pretty damaged for awhile. For awhile I started to believe I was all those nasty things he called me. A person can only take so much though. And just like that, I left, and cleaned up my side of the street. I just knew that my “man picker” must be broken. I didn’t have the best track record with that. But I had also discovered my wings again. The ones I lost for so long. I liked me. I had forgotten! I felt like a new creature. A very scared one, but nonetheless a new one.

While discovering my wings again, I crossed paths with the man that is now my husband. We had so many long conversations that first year of dating. I had made up my mind that I would be totally honest with him, even if it meant it may scare him away. Because I like me, and if he can’t, he’s just not the one. Not once, did he ever shy away, or belittle me, or treat me unkindly after all the truths were revealed. He was still around. I was amazed. Amazed at what God had done. Amazed at this beautiful soul before me.

What did I love the most about him? I could be me. For the first time ever in my life, I was with a man that I had the freedom to be myself with. And he loved me, just like that. Seems so simple, but that is truly hard to find. And I truly loved him just the way he was. I adored him!

My husband amazes me every single day. He is the most beautiful human being that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He is everything a man should be. I attribute so much of life the way 1 know it today, to him. He is sunshine on a cold day. His light shines so bright for not only me, but my girls as well. He is so full of life and that is contagious. I can never thank him enough for being such a great man and taking a chance on us.

We are complete opposites, but that’s exactly why it works. He helps me to see things in a different light and vice versa. He also challenges me. Challenges me to do better and be more. He does that by simply being him, because he makes me want to be a better person.

I was so blessed the day we became one flesh. I can’t imagine it any other way. Not even once along this journey with him have I ever thought I was making a mistake. He is the beat in my heart and the smile on my face. I thank God every single day for gracing me with him.

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